I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
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