people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
