One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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