i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
