what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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