I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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