I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
