i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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