At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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