just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize