i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
