Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
