Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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