I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
