she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
