in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize