it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
