I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
