Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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