found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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