i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
