how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
