shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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