took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
