Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
