Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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