Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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