Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
