Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
