My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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