Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
