She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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