will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
