I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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