out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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