so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
