can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
