Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
