I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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