sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
