So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
