I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize