i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize