i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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