Well douche your snatch and let's go!
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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