I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
