You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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