I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
