she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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