Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
