Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
