I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
