; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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