yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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