The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
