u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
