I only kidnapped one of them. chill
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
