Define "chronic" masturbator.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize