I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Drunk is a universal language darling
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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