goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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