where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
