That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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