She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize