You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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