what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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