It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I think people are normalizing furries
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
