whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
