I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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