I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
