why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
