HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize