we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Randomize
