therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Sorry about my life...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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