I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
